Admission. I have never read War and Peace. Sorry Leo I just never had the desire or drive to do so.
And then today something jogged my memory. I really have no idea what.. just something. It was time I did something about it. So, like a good little AI addict I fired up Google AI Studio and asked it to provide me with a one-page synopsis of the epic tale. Except that I asked for a version suitable for a five year old to read. That’s about my speed. And here, in it’s entirety, is that one-page version of War and Peace. Sorry Leo.
War and Peace (but for a little kid)
Once upon a time, there were some fancy people at a big party.
There was a boy named Pierre. He wore glasses and was clumsy and didn’t know what to do. He was a little sad.
There was a prince named Andrei. He was a grown-up and was very handsome but also very grumpy. He was bored of parties and wanted to go to a fight to be a hero.
And there was a girl named Natasha. She was the best! She loved to dance and laugh and run around.
Then a mean man named Napoleon came with his army, so it was time for a war. Boom!
Andrei went to the big fight. He thought he would be a big hero, but he got a big owie and fell down. He just looked at the sky and felt very, very small and sad.
Pierre’s dad gave him LOTS and LOTS of money, so he was super rich! But then he had to marry a mean lady who was not nice to him. So he was still sad. He tried to join a secret club to feel better, but it didn’t work.
Then the war stopped for a little bit.
Andrei saw Natasha dancing and he wasn’t grumpy anymore! He thought she was the best, too. He said, “Will you marry me?” and she said “Yes!” But her dad said they had to wait for a whole year.
While Andrei was away, a different mean boy tricked Natasha and she did a bad thing and got in big trouble. She was so sad she got sick. Andrei got super mad and said he didn’t want to marry her anymore.
Then the war came back! It was a REALLY big war this time. Napoleon came right to their house in Moscow! Grrrr! Everybody had to run away.
Andrei went to the big fight again and got a really, really bad owie.
Pierre put on funny clothes and tried to stop Napoleon all by himself, but he just got lost and saw lots of scary things.
Moscow was on fire! Oh no! While they were running away, Natasha found Andrei, who had the big owie. She took care of him and was very nice to him. They said sorry to each other, and then he went to sleep forever and went to heaven. It was very sad.
The bad soldiers caught Pierre and made him walk in the snow for a long, long time. He was cold and hungry. But then he met a nice old man who shared his potato and was very kind. Pierre learned that you don’t need lots of money or big ideas to be happy. You just need to be nice and have a potato.
When the war was all over, Pierre got free. He wasn’t clumsy and sad anymore. He was happy.
He found Natasha, who was a grown-up lady now and very strong. They loved each other a whole lot, so they got married and had lots of babies and were a family.
And the big lesson is that the kings and generals aren’t the most important people. The world is made of all the regular people, like Pierre and Natasha, who love and cry and share their potatoes.
The end.